Random Humor
by RabidAnimeFangirl
Summary: A collection of random humor that I can update at any time because it's random. Mainly about Kirihara.
1. Chapter 1

"Hmm..." Kirihara frowned, looking at the paper. Marui and Niou came over and sat on either side of him.

"Whatcha doing?" asked Marui, looking over his shoulder.

"It looks like science." said Niou, looking over the other shoulder.

"What am i supposed to do?" burst out Kirihara, finally.

"Do what?" asked Yagyuu, coming over with Yanagi.

"What the heck is this supposed to mean?" asked Kirihara pointing to a question that read:

"What is a protist, and name one example."

"I mean, why would I care, and what the heck is a protist, and it makes my brain hurt!" exclaimed Kirihara.

"Didn't know you had one." commented Niou.

"Niou-kun." repriminded Yagyuu.

"Protists are mostly single celled organisms with a nucleus. They mainly live in water. Some move, but some do not move. An example is an amoeba." said Yanagi because he would know. Kirihara stared blankly at him.

"What the heck did you just say, Yanagi-sempai?" he asked.

"Doesn't matter, just write it down." said Marui.

"Do ameebus play tennis?" asked Kirihara, ignoring Marui.

"It's amoeba. And no, they do not." said Yagyuu. After that, he and Yanagi walked away to talk about something sane.

"Who cares about them then?" said Kirihara, mostly to himself.

"Your science teacher will, so write it down, brat." said Niou.

"Do amobus do anything?" asked Kirihara. Niou and Marui exchanged evil grins.

"Oh yes, they can play golf." said Niou, nodding.

"And they can sing." said Marui importantly.

"They are very good at math."  
"They eat cake."  
"They eat seaweed."  
"They have green headbands."  
"Their best friends are squirrels."  
"They are very polite."

And the list went on and on. They even told him stuff about other science things. At the end, Kirihara's mind was swimming with questions._Who knew amebas could be so complicated?_

The next day, they had a test. Luckily, it could be a test that they drop, but Kirihara wanted to do well on it to show Marui and Niou that he was smart. They would have said, "Keep dreaming, brat." They got the test back the next day and Kirihara, in amazement and confusion, raced to his sempais.

"What's that?" asked Marui, coming over to look at his test. Niou and the rest of the team did too.

"It's my test. And luckily i can drop it. BUT YOU LIED TO ME!" he said, showing them the test. One of the questions read:

Describe a type of protist.

His answer:  
An amoeba (yay, he spelled it right) is a protist that loves to talk with its friends, which are squirrels. The squirrels gave them green headbands. Its favorite foods are seaweed and cake, and they are very polite.

Another question:  
Name the Kingdoms.  
His answer:

The Kingdom of Rikkaidai, the Kingdom of Seaweed, the Kingdom of Amoebas, and the Kingdom of Cake.

And the bonus:  
Why is it important to learn about this?  
His answer:  
It isn't. None of these things play tennis, so screw them. But amoebas wear headbands like Mura-buchou and they are polite like Yagyuu-sempai. And cake is important. And so is Rikkaidai. Why don't we learn about something nice, like tennis or cake?

The regulars sweatdropped. Then Marui laughed, then Niou, then Yukimura, and most of the team ended up laughing. And all Kirihara said was "What?"


	2. The Great Pillow Fight

The Rikkaidai tennis regulars were at a training camp. They were done for the day and were trying to go to sleep. Trying is the key word, as Kirihara kept asking questions that popped into his head. Yukimura and Sanada were somewhere else, talking about the schedule for the next day.

"Ne, how come this room doesn't have any windows?" asked Kirihara.

"No one cares, brat," Niou snapped, "The architects decided not to put them here. Now shut up!"  
Kirihara ignored him.

"Why?" he asked. Jackal sighed.  
"They didn't feel like it. And aren't you tired?" asked Jackal.

"No, and Marui-sempai isn't either. Look, he's eating a cupcake under the covers!" exclaimed Kirihara. Marui was between Niou and Kirihara, and Jackal was on the other side of Kirihara. Kirihara slid the covers off of Marui.  
"Do you mind?" he snapped, " I'm trying to eat my cupcake."

"You're such a fatty." said Niou.

"Am not!" exclaimed Marui, turning to Niou, "At least I'm not eating my pie!"  
Niou snorted. "You need to exercise."  
"I do! I play tennis!" Marui exclaimed, sitting up.

"And you can't even beat me."  
"Shut up! You turn into Sanada!"

"And he's going to come in here and slap you in 2 minutes if you don't be quiet." said Yanagi.

Kirihara brightened. "I have an idea. Why don't we have a pillow fight?" The regulars stared at him. Then, at last, Niou said "Are you serious, brat?"

He nodded. "Yeah! It's fun and Marui-sempai can exercise!"  
"What is with you guys! I'M NOT FAT!" whined Marui, "Yuki agrees!"  
"She's your girlfriend. Of course she would agree." said Jackal.  
"That pillow fight would be interesting, but have you thought about what might happen if Sanada came in?" said Yagyuu. Kirihara was silent for a moment. "We'll do it anyways!" he cheered.

"But what if we don't want to-" Niou was cut off by a pillow hitting his face. "Oh, it's on." he said, getting up like Kirihara and holding two pillows. While the two were throwing pillows at each other, running around the room and dodging the pillows thrown at them, Marui was finishing his cupcake. Then he looked up.  
"I'm ready!" he cheered, dragging Jackal as he jumped up.  
"Why do I have to do it?" muttered Jackal. Marui ignored him and threw a pillow at Niou, but Niou ducked and threw a pillow at Marui. Marui hit it to the side, hitting Jackal, who let out a muffled "Hey!" Marui ran around the room, picking up as many pillows as he could carry. Jackal, sighing, accepted his fate and picked up the few pillows that Marui couldn't pick up. Yanagi was sitting up, watching. Yagyuu, who felt that this was not polite, did not join. Until Niou pulled him up and handed him a pillow and bombarded him with pillows. Yagyuu made sure they did not hit his face and knock his glasses off, because he didn't want everyone to see his eyes. He picked up a few pillows and hit everyone within reach.

"Hiroshi! You're actually doing-Ow, brat!" Niou turned to see a smirking Kirihara, running away.  
"The world won't wait for you!" he exclaimed. Niou ran after him. Kirihara climbed onto a mountain of pillows.  
"You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man!" he taunted. Niou smirked as he turned into Sanada and went to the side of Kirihara.  
"Kirihara!" he barked. Kirihara, not noticing that it was Niou, flinched. "Yes?"  
"Give me that pillow." said Niou. Kirihara frantically nodded and tossed him the pillow. Niou changed back into himself. Kirihara stared at him. "That's not fair!" he whined. "Puri." said Niou, throwing his pillows at Kirihara. He didn't notice them, so they hit him and he fell over. Soon, Kirihara noticed that the mountain of pillows was moving. Suddenly, Marui sprung up from under all the pillows, bumping Kirihara to the ground and bombarding Niou with pillows. "Like my disguise tactics? Tensai teki?" said Marui. "But you were damn heavy, brat."  
"Hey!" said Kirihara, jumping up and pouting. The three continued to kill each other with pillows. Yanagi was muttering under his breath.

"Probability that I will get hit by Marui right now is 93.764%..." he said as a pillow thrown by Marui hit him. "Correct." he said as he threw the pillow at Jackal, who was nearest.

"What was that for?" asked Jackal as he whirled around and let go of the pillow he was holding. It flew towards the door as it opened. The pillow hit someone in the face. As the pillow dropped to the ground, the regulars saw that it was Sanada. Everyone froze, and the pillows that they were holding dropped to the ground. Sanada looked like he was trying to control himself, but it didn't work. "TARUNDORU!" he yelled, slapping the person who was nearest to him, namely, Marui. "Ow!" he exlclaimed, falling and rubbing his cheek, "Couldn't you slap Niou instead?"  
"Hey! You deserve it, fatty!" Niou said.

"Shut up!" yelled Marui, sticking out his tongue at him. Suddenly, Yukimura appeared behind Sanada.

"_What_ is going on here?" he asked, smiling dangerously.

"It was all the Akaya's fault!" blurted Niou.  
"Yeah, it was his idea." said Marui, nodding.

"But you guys did it too!" exclaimed Kirihara. The three started arguing.  
"Enough," said Yukimura, icily, "You will all do 50 laps outside, now. Renji will only do 40."  
"Why?" whined Kirihara.

"It's probably because he didn't actually take part, he only tossed the pillows that were tossed at him." said Jackal logically.

"Do you really mean now?" asked Yagyuu, "It can get to below 30 degrees at night here."  
"I mean now." said Yukimura.  
"Fine," said Kirihara, pouting, "but can I have hot chocolate when I finish?"

Yukimura smiled. "Of course. And the person who finishes last will have to drink this drink from Seigaku's Inui. It seems he has an online service."  
"Out of the way!" yelled Marui as he barged past everyone and started his laps. Even though it was from Tokyo, news of Inui's drinks had reached Kanagawa, so everyone knew about them. The rest of the regulars followed Marui quickly. "Oh, good. This got them to behave." said Yukimura with his sadistic smile. He was holding a glass of electric purple juice. Sanada sighed.

EPILOGUE  
The regulars were laying on the ground, panting, all having finished at the same time, except for Yanagi, because he finished first.

"Pity," said Yukimura, frowning, "I suppose we'll just have to give some to all of you, except for Yanagi. And Aka-chan, you can have your hot chocolate after you wake up." The regulars paled, except for Yanagi, who was gleefully recording data to use later. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"


End file.
